Love, Hope, and Panic In that Order
by clumsyjuliet27
Summary: The escapades of the Marauders with James and Lily as the main focus. Starts summer after sixth year. Full of the ridiculous cuteness that accompanies most JPLE fanfics, or will be soon. Clearly the characters are not mine except for a few later on maybe.
1. Chapter 1

When sitting on the Hogwarts Express after a long year of pranking and fun, with a bit of learning when required, James Potter always had a certain feeling of sadness. He would never admit this to the other Marauders, for they would surely mock him. The sadness was mostly a result of realizing that yet another year had passed without success- in the form of a date with Lily Evans.

Lily had caught his eye first year, as she had valiantly struggled with her trunk on the platform. It was easily twice her size at the time, but she was putting up a marvelous effort. He had been standing with his mother at the time. Always one for manners, she had suggested (or pushed, depending on whom you asked) that he help her. He went over reluctantly, and promptly fell in love. When she looked up, he saw that she had very interesting eyes behind the masses of red hair that had fallen into her face. They were an astonishing shade of green that James had never seen before. She looked at him for a minute. When he didn't say anything and just continued to stare, she said, "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help me? I know your mom sent you over here to help me."

"Uh, yeah." James grabbed the other end of the trunk and together they heaved it into the compartment. "I'm James. James Potter. What's your name?"

"Lily Evans," she said, and stepped onto the train. He waved to his mother, and followed her. He followed her to an empty compartment. When she sat down, he made to do so as well. His plan was thwarted with a crisply spoken, "_What_ are you doing?"

"I was going to sit there, actually."

"Oh. Well… whatever." He watched in fascination as she pulled a book out of her bag and proceeded to ignore him for the entire ride to Hogwarts. He spent the time getting to know the four other first years who had also inhabited the compartment and figuring out how to get Lily to like him.

Looking back, that was probably the most civil conversation they had had since. Ever since he had asked her out in the third week of their first year, she had avoided him at all costs. When she was forced to speak to him, she said as little as possible. Matters were only made worse when she had come across him hexing Severus Snape in the corridor one day in fourth year. After that, she not only ignored him, but when he did attempt to talk to her, she yelled at him using some very creative insults.

Sixth year was now over. James was just as in love with Lily as ever, to the complete and utter exasperation of his best friends, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He had managed to go through only one day in his six years at Hogwarts without talking about her. However, his jaw had been broken during a particularly foul-filled Quidditch match that day, and he spent several hours in the infirmary having it fixed. Lily had thwarted every one of his attempts to ask her out. James was now desperate for new ideas. He had decided to spend his summer finding out exactly how to get Lily Evans to fall in love with him.

As he got off of the train at the station, he saw his parents waving to him. He waved back, and began to head over to them. He retrieved his trunk, but as he was turning around to locate his parents again, he bumped into someone. A very short, very redheaded someone. "Sorry, Lily."

"That's okay, Potter." Then she did something that very nearly caused James to have a heart attack. She smiled, and said, "Have a good summer."

By the time he was able to respond, she was already moving away to find her trunk. "You too!" he yelled.

He was inwardly screaming, _"She smiled at me! A real smile!"_ The panic did not hit him until he had arrived home with his parents. _"Oh my God! What did it mean? Does she like me? Was she just smiling because she is nice, or was it because of me?" _These questions ran around in his head until his mother startled him back to the real world.

"James, honey, are you alright?" she asked solicitously.

"Yeah, mum. I'm fine. I'm going to go upstairs now."

"Okay," his mother responded, but James was already halfway to his room. When he got there, he threw himself on his bed. His thoughts immediately drifted to Lily as they had every minute in the last six years that he had not been actively studying or planning a prank. His thoughts went back to the enigma of her smile on Platform 9 ¾, and resumed panic mode. _"Arghhh!"_


	2. Chapter 2

The end of summer vacation was ending, and for the first time in his entire life, he was glad to be going back to school. His entire summer had consisting of stressing about his chances of creating a relationship with Lily. He had watched more Muggle talk shows than he had cared to know existed. Throughout all of this, he had learned absolutely nothing that would help him in his situation. All of the advice was for guys who liked girls and didn't know how to tell them. James had already told Lily how much he liked her. On several occasions. Often publicly.

When he wasn't watching Muggle television or reading Muggle advice columns, he was wondering if he should send her an owl. He really didn't want to make her dislike him any more than she already did. He ended up not sending her any letters. But that doesn't mean he didn't write any. He wrote her one almost every day. They were about whatever happened to him or what he thought. So, naturally, when he received his letter from Hogwarts, telling him that he was Head Boy, he wrote her a letter.

_Lily,_

_I just wanted to tell you that I made Head Boy. I don't really know why I am writing this, except that I have written you a letter every day this summer, and it is becoming a habit. Also that I figured you were Head Girl. You're just perfect like that. Well, have a good end of the summer. Maybe I'll see you in Diagon Alley. _

_James Potter_

_PS I think I may have forgotten to include the most important part of any letter to you: _

_I LOVE YOU_

Suddenly, his owl, (who had been teased every day when James would put the letter on his leg and then take it off) swooped over his desk and snatched the letter. James immediatelyjumped up from his chair and made a fruitless attempt to grab the owl. "Bloody owl," he muttered as it swooped around his room and landed on the post of his bed. To his dying day, he swore that Godric looked at him with a mocking look before swiftly flying out of his window. "Dammit!"

He made a resolution then and there that he would not think about Lily Evans for the rest of the summer. He made a gallant attempt, but three minutes he was looking out of his window and the color of the grass reminded him of her eyes. He groaned and decided that he needed to do something. Anything to get his mind off of _her_. It was when he had opted for flying practice in the field behind his house that he saw a bright purple bus whiz past his house. _The Knight Bus?_ He puzzled over what it could possibly be doing in rural England, and decided that it was just passing through when it jerked to a stop that should have killed all of its occupants. Clearly at least one of the occupants was fine, because a livid-looking Sirius departed levitating his trunk behind him. As Sirius stalked up to his house, James left his seat at the window and bounded down the steps and out of the front door.

"Hey, mate! What are you doing here? Coming to save me from the insanity that is my love for Lily Evans?"

At James's enthusiastic greeting, Sirius brightened up a bit. "Well, the last letter you sent me had faint traces of the smell 'pathetic bugger,' so I decided to come rescue you." After this, he paused a bit. "My mother also threw me out of the house," he added more quietly.

James caught him in a cross between a hug and a headlock, saying, "It's all right. I am sure Mum will let you crash here."

"Are you sure James?" inquired Sirius.

"Of course! It is so wonderful to see you again, dear," said Mrs. Potter as she walked out of her house and enveloped Sirius in a hug. Sirius had always been so comforted by her. She had the sweet, motherly smell of baking cookies and clean laundry and… love, that his mother was too mean to have.

That night, tired out from a Quidditch game that lasted three hours, James and Sirius were going to sleep in James's room, when Sirius asked a very serious question. He was going to sleep on a cot near James's bed, and he was just lying down when he asked, "What's with you and Evans, anyway? Every letter you sent me included something about her. Usually your panic about the dilemma of her smile, and your letters, and bla bla bla…" More quietly, he added, "Do you love her?" After a significant pause in which James was trying to figure out what to say, Sirius threw him another curve ball. Sirius was practically inaudible as he asked, "What's love like, anyway? I've got lust down pat, but love…I just don't know."

James replied, "I do love her. More than anything or anyone else I know—no offense." Sirius just nodded, so James continued. "Love is… scary, but beautiful at the same time. I can't seem to stop thinking about her, about what she is doing. I feel like that, if she loved me back, it wouldn't matter what else happened. It all would be okay. It is improbable. Impractical for that matter. Irrational, even. But utterly necessary for my life to continue."

"James?"

"What Sirius?"

"I want you to know that even though I've always made fun of you for being obsessed, I really do respect your love. I also want to wish you good luck this year. I think with the time you spend as Heads together might pay off. As long as you don't do anything stupid that is," at this he smiled at James, who smiled back.

"Thanks mate."

"Any time, Prongs."

The rest of the time that passed before they fell asleep was spent in conversation about the school year that was traveling nearer to them at dizzying speed. They decided to go to Diagon Alley the next day for school supplies—both the required stuff from the list and a few, well, additions. Namely, the necessities for maintaining the status of school pranksters.

"Zonko's it is," James said as he finally succumbed to his fatigue. Sirius fell asleep soon after.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, James and Sirius went to Diagon Alley. They stopped in Zonko's first, and stocked up on all the necessities. They had found everything they needed plus a few new items with definite potential.

"You know Prongs, these Changing-Message Badges sound like a perfect welcome back surprise for our mates the Slytherin prefects," Sirius said with a smile.

"Your right--oh my God! Hide me! There she is," James said as he spotted Lily further down the street with her parents. He abruptly attempted to shove Sirius in front of him, but Sirius planted his feet like a donkey.

"You ass!" James yelped as Lily turned their way.

"Hey Lily," James said timidly, after Sirius gave him a violent shove in her direction.

She just rolled her eyes and walked away. As she walked away, he heard her mother say to her, "Why did you ignore him, honey? He seems like a nice boy. Handsome too."

At this, Lily interjected, "_Mom_, you're supposed to be on my side. Isn't it enough that all of my friends tell me like every day that we would make a cute couple, or that he is perfect, or bla bla bla," She was becoming very flustered, and James could see that her face was bright red.

As he watched her disappear from his line of sight, she turned around and looked right at him. She blushed vividly again, and whipped her head back around.

"There's mixed signals for you, mate," Sirius said almost too cheerfully after watching the exchange. James just glared at him and led the way to the Apothecary where they endured the stench just long enough to get the necessary ingredients. They finished the rest of their errands, and only saw Lily one more time, at which point James yanked Sirius into the closest shop.

The shop was very strangely decorated, and completely deserted except for them and a creepy looking witch at a small table.

"Psychic reading, dearie? I can see love in your aura from here. Embarrassment too. Need some help with a pretty girl?"

"Erm, no thanks," said James as he tried to edge out of the shop. Hope of escape was quashed when he saw Lily stop to talk to a friend right in front of the shop he was currently in.

"Come on, Prongs, don't be a wimp," said Sirius very unhelpfully.

"Fine," James sighed, and sat down at the table. The lady began looking at his palm and glancing at a crystal ball at the same time.

"Hmm... love troubles. I am sensing the need for a change. You like a lady. Her name is?"

"Lily"

"Ahh, and have you ever told her of your feelings?"

At this, Sirius interjected with, "Many times. On a daily basis in sixth year. He went for persistence that year. Fifth year was mostly about public statements. Standing on tables, amplifying his voice, et ceter--oof!" James elbowed him hard in the stomach to make him shut up.

"So, it seems that your change should be in the way that you pursue your lady. I suggest being subtle. Make her see that you want to get to know her as a person, and not just a girl." James stared in awe at the witch. It actually sounded like reasonable advice.

"Thank you," he said, and paid her two Sickles. He didn't pay attention while Sirius was sitting at the table, talking to the witch. He stood in a daze, thinking of ways to show Lily his love _subtly_. He was still puzzling over this when Sirius dragged him back to the sunny street. He was very excited.

"She said that love for me was as impending as those storm clouds, and that we should go home before the torrential downpour starts."

They Flooed back to James's house and just missed getting soaked. They spent the evening packing their trunks and talking about Lily Evans. Well, James was talking about her. Sirius was telling him to shut up very colorfully. When they were done packing, they went to bed. Their conversation before falling asleep was centered around their pranking goals for the year, and therefore much more lighthearted than the previous night's topics. They fell asleep with smiles on their faces, thinking about the witch's advice and its potential for their love lives.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, James and Sirius traveled to the train station to go to Hogwarts. As soon as they crossed onto Platform 9 ¾, they saw the bustle of people who would be going to school that year. They got their trunks in the right place, but not without James bringing up _her_ in the memory of his helping her with her trunk in first year. As they located Remus and Peter in a thankfully otherwise empty compartment, they said their hellos. Then James suddenly glanced at his watch and gave a slightly-less-than-manly squeak.

"Oh my god! I have to go to the Heads' compartment in four minutes! How do I look? I feel sick."

"Snap out of it!" Sirius gave him a good whack on the back of his head.

"Calm down, James. It will be okay. Just don't be a prat, a bighead, a jerk, or anything else Lily has ever called you," of course it was Remus who was giving him the helpful advice. As he was walking out into the train corridor, Sirius called after him in a ridiculous falsetto,

"Give my regards to dearest Lilybean now; won't you?"

"Shut up, Padfoot," James shouted over his shoulder before making his way towards the Heads' compartment.

When he walked in, he was hit with an immediate wave of pure, unadulterated terror. The redhead who he had fallen in love with was looking more beautiful, and therefore more intimidating than ever. He was quaking in his boots. As he opened his mouth to say hello, she cut him off quickly by saying, "Let's just get done what needs to be done."

"Err…Okay," James said, "what do we have to do first?" It did not go unnoticed that she had blushed feverishly when she looked at him.

"First we have to talk to the prefects, and then we have to patrol the train corridors."

"That doesn't sound too hard, let's go."

They walked the short distance to the Prefects' compartments in silence. James had finally worked up the bravery to ask her how her summer was when she broke the uncomfortable silence with an "Um..." However, they reached the Prefects' compartment before she could finish her statement. They walked in, and began the necessary introductions, as well as explaining the duties of Prefects.

To James's disappointment, Lily immediately went back to her compartment without so much as a word after talking to the Prefects. He gave a sigh while watching her retreating back, then headed back to his compartment.

"Hey Prongs! How did the meeting with Lils go?" Sirius asked eagerly. He was quite bored, because all he had been doing for an hour and a half was watch Remus whip Peter mercilessly in chess. Sirius generally liked chess, but an hour and a half was too much.

"She was just as… detached as always, but she _blushed_ when she looked at me."

"She has been doing that a lot lately. Maybe the poor girl has got a fever," Sirius said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah," said James rather distractedly.

"You know what we need to do? Make a visit to the lovely seventh year Gryffindor ladies. I _am_ supposed to fall in love this year."

"WHAT?" both Remus and Peter exclaimed at the same time.

"Well, James and I were in Diagon Alley, and he yanked me in a shop to avoid the scrumptious Lilykins—"

"_Don't call her that!_"

"What? Scrumptious or Lilykins? … Judging by your beautiful complexion, I am guessing your desire to strangle me is coming from my use of the word scrumptious… Fine. Fine. Don't get your knickers in a twist, honey. As I was saying, he dragged me into some random shop to avoid _her_—better Jamesie?"

James just grunted, but Remus muttered, "Get on with it already."

"So we went into the shop and some creepy old bat, not much unlike our Div teacher, forced us to get our fortunes told. James is supposed to change his ways of '_wooing_', I think it was…" James muttered what seemed to be curses as Sirius continued his monologue, "and _I_ am supposed to fall in love."

"Let's just go," James added halfheartedly after Sirius had finished.

"Sounds good," said Remus.

"Whatever," said Peter, ever the follower.

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Thanks for reading! (I won't be pathetic here and ask you to review)

--juliet


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